Yeah I remember his birthday. I even remember the day he was born. He was so little. His eyes kept staring at me for hours as if they were questioning me. A hundred questions. "Where have I come to? Are you what they call a mother? Are you who used to talk to me before I came into this world? I don't know your language. Will you understand mine?" And I kept answering him everything always. Untill the day he asked me nothing.
His eyes were wide open but they weren't looking at me. I held his hand but he didn't hold me back. I waited for him to question me "what had happened to me mom?" And I would answer him like always. I knew he wouldn't ask me a thing. But I was left with lots to say.
"I'm sorry Ben for I didn't understand you. Or may be you should have explained it this time. I had dreams and so did you. But mine were with you and thats where I went wrong. I would have understood because I understand it well now. You should have talked like your little brother did. He followed heart and he's living his dream. I'm happy as if those dreams are mine.
It's five years since you left us. We miss you ..."
I know he won't hear me. Neither do I want or expect any miracle. We learnt to live with it. I remember I used to choke on my breath for over a month every time I heard his name and now I often remind myself of him so I don't forget his name. I keep his photographs safe so I don't forget his face. I hardly cry like I used to before. I guess I I'm healed. Because now I know he won't be back and life won't stop with him or me.
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