But I can't hate him...

"Do you still love him?" They often ask me when I don't talk all the bad about him even after what he did. They say no guy does that to a girl he loves. They say he played me, he used me and then dumped me when he was done. They want me to forget him. They want me to move on. They talk mean things about him. They try to make me mad at him. They want me to hate him.
      I am moving on in life. I'm over all the moments of grief and grievances. I am over all the pain and tears. I am over the restless and helpless nights. I have been through hard times, battling with thoughts of colour and grey in my mind. I have been through the endless black and blues. There were times I burst into tears for no reason in the middle of a song. There was this time when I gave up on life and hope. They blamed him for  everything. So did I.  But it's all over now. I am over it all.
      And I can't hate him still... Because every time I think of him I remember not the times I cried myself to sleep, but the slepless nights I spent in love.  I do not remember the calls he didn't receive but the hours of silly laughing and giggling. I do not remember how he said he was no longer in love but the thousands of times he said he was. I can't hate him not because I love him still but because he made me feel loved once upon a time....